This Saturday around 5:45 pm, I will be a married man for the first time in my life. When I'm asked if I'm 1) nervous; 2) exhausted; 3) getting cold feet, I say no. And I'm not. If I were doing this for the first time 15 years ago, I'd at least be considering 1 and 2 with some gravity. But I think waiting until 41 to do the deed has eliminated any possibility of Bridezillas-style stress, and I'm thankful for that.
So if you want the answer, it is to wait until you're 41 to get married. :) That, and buying a house with your betrothed two years prior to the marriage date. And prior to that, dating for six-plus years. I know not everyone chooses to wait that long; on the other hand, I knew one couple who'd been living together for 10-plus years and still hadn't sealed the deal. For me (for us), it was about time. I haven't followed the recipe in most areas of my life, and why start now?
Even this week is, so far, drama-free. I have the distinct advantage of getting married to a super-organized and -motivated woman, and we're on top of all the arrangements as we can be. We've had some deals fall through, and some re-thinking, and plenty of doubt and stress, but it's already happened. This week is going to be a lot of little errands, driving around, and entertaining family. I don't foresee any major 11th-hour fuckups.
Then again, it may be easy for me to say that since I'm the groom.
I haven't written extensively aboout wedding prep because, well, that's our business. But all is as well as can be six days in advance.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Bye bye, miscreants and ne'er-do-wells.
Today I gave my only final exam, as noted before; I had exams graded and grades entered by 11:30.
One student missed the exam. I got back to my office to find an email from him time-stamped 9:43 a.m., asking what day the final was. I was all prepared to e- him back with a smile and say "Too bad, no go," but then he softly tapped at my chamber door about 10:45 all contrite. And I had other work to do anyway, so I let the little piss-ant take it. Obviously I didn't have to. My fiancee said I'm too nice. She's not wrong. Did I do the right thing from a Buddhist point of view? (Or is there no "right" thing in a Buddhist point of view? My knowledge of Buddhism is scant.) If I hadn't gone right back to my office--if he had shown up when I wasn't there--I would have said no go.
Oh well. I made a decision and went with it. As an old boss once said, nobody got maimed.
I also noted and recorded writing sample results. Two students who made B's in the course failed the writing sample and now have to retake the whole damned thing. I wish we had some kind of short-course remediation for students in that boat.
I suppose a writing sample is like an at-bat in that anything can happen on a given day, but still. You should be able to write five frickin' coherent paragraphs if you make a B in learning support English, for cripes' sake.
Oh, and it also means these two students failed two writing samples, because all who fail the first one then get rated on the second one. And there has to be a consensus of two raters out of three. I doubt the raters got it wrong. So many variables: focus, choice of topics, amount of sleep the previous night, whether they're gettin' any.
These two surprises were counterbalanced, though, by several passes from students I had serious doubts about. One guy came to see me looking for the posted results, so we walked down the hall, found his code, and he was positively giddy. He may have been my best student this spring--not in terms of grade (he got a C and worked hard to get it), but of tenacity and stick-to-it-iveness. I was rooting hard for him.
Other bits and bobs occupying my mind:
Been reading good stuff in this month's Atlantic on the banking/financial meltdown, and I think we're not at the bottom of the pit yet. I'm mildly concerned about nmy 403b but somehow can't rouse myself to be more so. Maybe there's something to the advice given by one expert, which is if you're nervous about investing or shifting your money short-term (five years or less), then don't invest at all. Writ another way, you can't take it with you.
Allison Iraheta may give Lambert a run for his money on Idol. I'd buy a whole album of duets by them. (But I'd fear a remake of "Almost Paradise.") If Cowell exits after this season, I can't imagine there's any reason to watch. [EDIT: I wrote this without the knowledge that Iraheta was booted this week. So it's down to the boys now. I say Lambert prevails, but Allen may surprise.]
Tomorrow and we hopefully get our blinky A/C fixed. Not a moment too soon with wedding madness kicking in and family zipping into town next week.
Mowed the front lawn this afternoon and again achieved Zen. There's something oddly comforting about mowing grass, even when wedged in tight spots. Something about keeping a careful straight line all around. It speaks to the orderly in me.
Have I mentioned we're headed to Napa Valley for our honeymoon? I will be playing the wine-tasting role of Thomas Haden Church in Sideways--the one who's just ready to drink. We need to plan it out a little more, but we have our accommodations in Sonoma. A mud bath and massage are musts.
One student missed the exam. I got back to my office to find an email from him time-stamped 9:43 a.m., asking what day the final was. I was all prepared to e- him back with a smile and say "Too bad, no go," but then he softly tapped at my chamber door about 10:45 all contrite. And I had other work to do anyway, so I let the little piss-ant take it. Obviously I didn't have to. My fiancee said I'm too nice. She's not wrong. Did I do the right thing from a Buddhist point of view? (Or is there no "right" thing in a Buddhist point of view? My knowledge of Buddhism is scant.) If I hadn't gone right back to my office--if he had shown up when I wasn't there--I would have said no go.
Oh well. I made a decision and went with it. As an old boss once said, nobody got maimed.
I also noted and recorded writing sample results. Two students who made B's in the course failed the writing sample and now have to retake the whole damned thing. I wish we had some kind of short-course remediation for students in that boat.
I suppose a writing sample is like an at-bat in that anything can happen on a given day, but still. You should be able to write five frickin' coherent paragraphs if you make a B in learning support English, for cripes' sake.
Oh, and it also means these two students failed two writing samples, because all who fail the first one then get rated on the second one. And there has to be a consensus of two raters out of three. I doubt the raters got it wrong. So many variables: focus, choice of topics, amount of sleep the previous night, whether they're gettin' any.
These two surprises were counterbalanced, though, by several passes from students I had serious doubts about. One guy came to see me looking for the posted results, so we walked down the hall, found his code, and he was positively giddy. He may have been my best student this spring--not in terms of grade (he got a C and worked hard to get it), but of tenacity and stick-to-it-iveness. I was rooting hard for him.
Other bits and bobs occupying my mind:
Been reading good stuff in this month's Atlantic on the banking/financial meltdown, and I think we're not at the bottom of the pit yet. I'm mildly concerned about nmy 403b but somehow can't rouse myself to be more so. Maybe there's something to the advice given by one expert, which is if you're nervous about investing or shifting your money short-term (five years or less), then don't invest at all. Writ another way, you can't take it with you.
Allison Iraheta may give Lambert a run for his money on Idol. I'd buy a whole album of duets by them. (But I'd fear a remake of "Almost Paradise.") If Cowell exits after this season, I can't imagine there's any reason to watch. [EDIT: I wrote this without the knowledge that Iraheta was booted this week. So it's down to the boys now. I say Lambert prevails, but Allen may surprise.]
Tomorrow and we hopefully get our blinky A/C fixed. Not a moment too soon with wedding madness kicking in and family zipping into town next week.
Mowed the front lawn this afternoon and again achieved Zen. There's something oddly comforting about mowing grass, even when wedged in tight spots. Something about keeping a careful straight line all around. It speaks to the orderly in me.
Have I mentioned we're headed to Napa Valley for our honeymoon? I will be playing the wine-tasting role of Thomas Haden Church in Sideways--the one who's just ready to drink. We need to plan it out a little more, but we have our accommodations in Sonoma. A mud bath and massage are musts.
Monday, May 4, 2009
A slow fizzle, and smoke.
That's the sound of the semester burning out its last ashes. For me, anyway. I give but one final this spring, on Thursday, and then I plan to hurriedly grade the exams afterwards, enter final grades, and enter a long waiting period.
My learning support students wrote their second writing samples today and thus finished the second of a three-step process in exiting the learning support English sequence. Now, those who pass the writing sample get to (re)take COMPASS. The samples will be graded by Wednesday night, but my classes don't take their COMPASS until Wednesday of next week, the 13th.
In addition, those who don't pass COMPASS are allowed one retest on any of several dates and times up through Friday night, the 15th--which is the night of our rehearsal dinner. The wedding is the next night, and hangover recovery is the next day, Sunday. Any COMPASS retests completed Friday night won't post to the system until the following Monday, the 18th. This means I'll have to monitor the system up through the morning of the 18th, because any failing grade on COMPASS means I have to go back and change that grade from passing to an IP (in progress). Just a little wrinkle I'll have to deal with, an annoyance.
But I'm glad I give only one final. The last day of the semester is tomorrow, but my one class that day is not meeting, since I finished singing my song last Thursday. I'm going in for a few office hours, grading the last two research essays, and cutting out early, hopefully before noon.
There are few other feelings like this, the feeling of another chapter being completed written and a door closing behind me. I can leave this one and begin again in the summer. That may be the best thing about teaching: the certainty that it will be done after 15 weeks. No matter what, it will come to an end.
My learning support students wrote their second writing samples today and thus finished the second of a three-step process in exiting the learning support English sequence. Now, those who pass the writing sample get to (re)take COMPASS. The samples will be graded by Wednesday night, but my classes don't take their COMPASS until Wednesday of next week, the 13th.
In addition, those who don't pass COMPASS are allowed one retest on any of several dates and times up through Friday night, the 15th--which is the night of our rehearsal dinner. The wedding is the next night, and hangover recovery is the next day, Sunday. Any COMPASS retests completed Friday night won't post to the system until the following Monday, the 18th. This means I'll have to monitor the system up through the morning of the 18th, because any failing grade on COMPASS means I have to go back and change that grade from passing to an IP (in progress). Just a little wrinkle I'll have to deal with, an annoyance.
But I'm glad I give only one final. The last day of the semester is tomorrow, but my one class that day is not meeting, since I finished singing my song last Thursday. I'm going in for a few office hours, grading the last two research essays, and cutting out early, hopefully before noon.
There are few other feelings like this, the feeling of another chapter being completed written and a door closing behind me. I can leave this one and begin again in the summer. That may be the best thing about teaching: the certainty that it will be done after 15 weeks. No matter what, it will come to an end.
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