My good friend (and AWP companion) seabird78 makes this comment about AWP on her blog, and I have to say it sets me straight. It is indeed refreshing to see so many little/medium mags surviving and even thriving, and one really doesn't have an excuse not to send work into the world.
I have a feeling that the bellyaching I did a few posts ago wouldn't be there if I'd been more productive with my writing the last year or so. But wishing it were otherwise doesn't do me much good.
And it occurs to me I let the conference swallow me up even when I wasn't at the Hilton. And it further occurs to me I've felt like this at many a conference, AWP or otherwise. And that I'm not alone. The grass is always greener on the other side of the ballroom.
I just keep telling myself that 1) it's impossible for 95% of poets to make a living doing only that; 2) those poets who are successfully published and have some name recognition are pretty busy much of the time, just in different ways from me; 3) the pleasure comes in the doing and that I need to get back to it. And I will, come Friday.
But how easy to envision publication and audience and "success," whatever that entails. Of the seven deadly sins, y'all, envy's mine and you can't have it.
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